Denial. As an adult there are many things we are ready to admit to but being bullied is not usually one of them. Adult bullies have mastered their craft over the years and can do it in such a way it is almost “under cover”. I recently have encountered such an experience. As someone who is used to helping others work through difficult life circumstances I was not readily willing to admit to there being an issue. I mean… How could there be? I am “awake” and consciously aware of my life. Ha! It is when we start to believe such things that we are almost begging to knocked down a few pegs. 😉 To be honest, I was aware there was an opportunity for growth. I was certain that despite warning of others having been challenged by this person, I would rise above and come out having healed the situation. Annnnd not to ruin the end, but I did. I totally turned it around. It just took a few emotional break downs and self reflection to get there.

Yes, I am just as vulnerable to this things as everyone else. I am human afterall. I just rebound quicker. The bonus for you is that I am about to share with you how I rebound quicker. My scientific knowledge and spiritual beliefs create accountability that I must face. This may sound strange. Why am I looking at myself to be accountable for what a bully is doing to me? Well, if you understand the science behind it then it all falls into place.

Our Brains are amazing. They control our whole body without us even having to think about it. I a mean when is the last time you had to tell yourself to breath? I mean besides the last time you were stressed out? haha The fact is that our brains and the different facets of it are continuously pointing out to us what it thinks we want to encounter or what will keep us in a neutral state. This goes back to programming from the cave man days. As a complimentary piece my spiritual beliefs follow the universal law that we draw to ourselves that which we need or think about the most. The bible speaks of as within, so without. Tony Robbins speaks of us having 6 core needs that our mind is continuously trying to appease. We have 2 primary but we can switch between different ones. All of things have one thing in common. Accountability.

That being said. What did I do? I asked myself important questions. They started out in angry what the bleep lingo. Again… I am human. So yes, for this instance I started out with serious questions of why the heck I was drawing this to myself. What did I need to learn? What could I do to shift the perspective? What could I do to help the situation and bring healing to it? When we start the series of questions shining light on the situation our brain has no choice but to start to help us figure it out. From a spiritual perspective our higher power starts to respond to our requests for help. Its important in this process to be mindful of the thoughts that come next. Be mindful of the emotions. This is about fully getting into the emotion and mindset / perspective of the moment to understand what steps need to take place next. Which takes us to the next step.

Action! You need to take action, one step in the direction of the understanding you have been given. In my case, I created a template of a process flow that we could try that allowed us both opportunity to shine. I had put myself in her shoes and allowed myself to see all of her positive attributes. I used that to create a solution to the situation. I called a meeting in which I provided feedback of my feelings and how I was perceiving our situation. I didn’t push my opinions on her, rather I listened with an open heart to the conversation. I used opportunities that arose to show her the relevance and similarity of her feelings and my own. The conversation ended on a positive.

I held her and our situation in a space of love. What does that mean? I found gratitude for anything and everything I could. I pictured us in peaceful communion. I thanked her in my mind for allowing me the opportunity to grow. Does all this sound impossible or crazy? I promise you that anyone can achieve this and it worked. She came to me the next morning more than willing to help me. Her whole energy had shifted and it was hard to ignore. What did I gain from this?

This opportunity provided me the opportunity to experience workplace bullying so that I can help others work through it. It provided me with opportunity to self reflect and grow through difficult conversation. It provided me with opportunity to fall into a deep state of sadness and confusion with where I was in life so that I could find understanding in helping other to climb out of dispair. I firmly believe my life purpose is to help others. As I walk this journey, how can I not find gratitude in learning knew ways to help others conquer issues to live an empowered life.