Authenticity

I guess the first question to ask is… What does it mean to be authentically you? Have you recently given this a thought? Many times we don’t ever even ponder this question until we find ourselves uncertain as to what that even means anymore. We burst into adulthood with mounting pressure of what we are supposed to be achieving often having lost the semblance of who or what we authentically want to be or become many years prior. Some people manage to make it into adulthood with a solid vision only to lose it somewhere down the road on the way to success. However you lose it, when the sudden reality of it being gone hits… It leaves you in a very unsettling space.

I found myself in a similar situation. Only in my situation I had lived most of my life being able to chameleon so well that I didn’t even realize I had lost a piece of me somewhere along the way. In reality and all truth, several pieces of me. Its a great skill to be able to chameleon and adapt to situations. Especially if you come from a rough beginning that lead to a rough middle. Never the less, I knew being able to adapt and blend with my surroundings would help me get to where I wanted to be and it worked. I was able to climb and achieve many successes. Jim Rohn is known for telling people they are the sum of the 5 people they spend the most time with. He openly tells people its a good idea to learn how to chameleon yourself to be more like the people who have achieved your goals. I don’t think however he would ever want you to lose yourself along the way.

In reality I think Jim’s advice is great. The goal however, is to set a goal of where you want to be that resonates with your highest version of self. Many times, I think we set out with a skewed beginning goal. It may not seem skewed in the moment. I mean, if you don’t have 2 pennies to rub together a goal to have financial freedom sounds pretty great. Doesn’t it?

In my situation, I had spent many of my years hiding my highest version of self for fear of ridicule. Fear of not fitting into what is considered the social norm. I had my public chameleon and what I considered my highest self neatly segregated into different sections of life. Sound familiar? I had a skewed belief that if I shared my true beliefs and ideas people wouldn’t want to socialize with me. So I pulled back and limited my social ties with peers to avoid any rejection.

Along the way I figured out that by hiding my full self from people I was in essence saying I was ashamed of what I consider my highest self. Which then in my understanding of how the mind works, literally starts to shut down that portion of self as a protective mechanism.

Cut to now. I think we are in a continuous state of figuring out what authentically resonates with us. And that’s okay. The important part is remaining mindful of self and being in tune with those changes so that you are always in touch with what you authentically wish to achieve and be.

My reflection of all this lead me to wonder… At what point in life do we allow fear to keep us from being the best version of ourselves? Lets think about little kids for a minute. Kids start out with an insatiable need to be authentic to self. Any parent can attest to this as they think about the temper tantrum induced from the child wanting to go out in clothes that are so far from matching it almost hurts your eyes. haha

To the child, they prance around head held high feeling on top of the world in those mismatched clothes. Even after being told they do not necessarily match they will come back with an argument of yes they do or in so many words they don’t care. They like it and that’s all that matters. At some point that beautiful head strong child gets deflated. The confidence to walk proudly in the direction of their dreams gets derailed. Doubt, fear and second guessing take its place.

It is time to re-connect with that inner child. It is time to realize that whatever and whoever derailed you doesn’t matter as much as how your going to get back on track. You owe it to your inner 4 year old self. Stand tall, hands on your hips and throw on some over-sized sunglasses as you affirm out loud “I am ready to walk in the direction of my dreams!”

Its funny when you think back to childhood or to kids you know, they have no issue with taking on the persona of other people they admire. They go through periods where they are pretending to be other people, usually super hero’s or someone they think is amazing like mom or dad. It seems, we are naturally wired to learn in this way. Which is probably why, motivational and leadership coaches tell people to go out and spend time around those they want to be like. Jim Rohn, speaks of learning to chameleon yourself to be like those who have what you want to have. He explains that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. While there is nothing wrong with bettering yourself by modeling those you resonate with, its important not to lose yourself in the process. There is only one you. You can model and use the techniques of others but hold true to the uniqueness of you.

You may be thinking, okay great Angie, but how do I do that? While I can give you a template to follow the work and the process will be unique to you. As with everything that deals with personal improvement, its all about you. *shameless plug about to happen. I am more than happy to help guide you through the process of this. It’s often easier as you begin, and even intermittently as you proceed through, to have an unbiased ear to help filter the thoughts from EGO vs your authentic self.

Template: A sample to get you started

• Create a list of all the earliest childhood dreams you can remember. Who did you role play as? What did you want to be when you grow up? What gave you joy?
• Look at your life now, and create a matching list. Who do envision being like? What is your current profession/job? What gives you joy and/ or do you take time to do it?
• Compare and contrast your lists

It doesn’t necessarily matter what derailed you… People often want to get caught up in the blame game. That just procrastinates the ownership of the work that needs done. Many people find hypnosis helpful in breaking through and past the perceived “blockades” of what caused particular problems. This is a sort of “shortcut” to moving ahead without having to get caught up and stuck on past “stuff”.

*Another shameless plug about to happen. I do hypnosis as well as life coaching and you can find more information on my self titled website. www.angieviescas.com